It's Still There
by alixxblack
Summary: Draco has moved on from his past mistakes but he can't seem to get rid of the proof that he's made them. Ready to see his dark mark removed, he must enlist the help of the brightest witch he knows.


**House:** Ravenclaw

 **Year:** Pre-Hogwarts (Stand-in for Thispiper, Year 6)

 **Category:** Short

 **Prompt(s):** Anticipation, Tattoo (Year 6 Requirement: Two Prompts)

 **WC:** 1,779

 **Notes:** Post-Hogwarts, Definitely AU. A mild swear or two.

* * *

"The vanishing spell seems too strong to begin there, don't you think?" she says in a wispy tone. She's come prepared, of course, and she promised me when I hired her that she would fix this for me. I don't know whether it's the high price tag that I've attached to the success of this venture or the genuine investment in doing something that she can add to her repertoire. Either way, she has a list of spells scrawled across fresh parchment that was likely purchased the day they made these arrangements in private.

I look down at my dark mark, clearly visible as I sit here in a plain black shirt and blackish-blue jeans. I've never been the sort to dress casually and I've done so because Hermione asked it of me. Actually, she demanded that this be no formal matter. I'm sure that she wanted us to be equals today.

Of course, I know the truth. She's better, always has been and always will be.

That's why I chose her. If anyone can make this work, I know in my heart that it's her. Hermione Granger, top scorer on every test; Hermione Granger, smartest student in the room; Hermione Granger, the brains of any operation; and now, Hermione Granger, the driving force of change at the Ministry of Magic.

I never wanted to ask her. I didn't want to ask anyone, and even tried to do it myself. As it became clear that I simply could not get rid of the dark mark on my own, then I considered my mother's assistance first. I don't have any else, really; at least not anymore. On top of that, unfortunately, I'd begun noticing that mum's power has greatly diminished in the after math of the war. Even simple spells seem to require every ounce of focus that she can spare.

With a sigh, I forcefully stop replaying the events and reasons that have brought me to this moment. "I don't care where you start, though I should say I've already tried."

"Yes, you had said so," Hermione squawks in embarrassment, as if she should have remembered that detail. I never asked her to take notes.

Quicker than I've ever heard her speak, Hermione reads down the list of spells she plans to use today: finite, tersus atramento, coperio, and evanesco. As she reads the spells off, I agree that they do make the most sense. Additionally, she admits that she altered a few potions in hopes of encouraging deep tissue skin regrowth. If all else fails, she wants to create new spells, or string new words together, holding up a Latin dictionary as support. I tell her that many nights I considered slicing it all off. "I just want to be rid of this ridiculous thing."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that tattoos are permanent, Malfoy?" I see the exact moment that she regrets saying this aloud. I honestly can't imagine why,, though, considering the numerous times I've said far worse about her. Often to her face, even. I laugh to ease the tension. Or at least I try, but the sound that comes out is shaky and a bit strangled. My throat is tight with anticipation. Hermione loosens up and softens her expression. "Scared?"

"Not of you, if that's what you mean," I manage with a bite on each syllable. "I don't think you'll kill me."

"But you think I won't care if I hurt you." With her hair pulled back, no longer a bushy wave of frizz she had in her youth, Hermione can't hide her frown. Before she can open her mouth to explain herself in greater length, I cut her off. Today I want her help, not her pity.

Hermione Granger owes me not a damn thing. "I'm scared I can't get rid of it. I've heard that it's possible because the power came from Voldemort but what if…?" I have to choke myself into silence because I'll go off on a tangent with this anxiety soaking my mind. I need to calm down. How can I expect Hermione to work on me in this state? Clearly I am not myself; I am not the boy she knew – hated – from Hogwarts. Not anymore…

Nodding her head along in understanding, Hermione comes forward with her wand drawn. I never properly noticed, the brown and tan hues revealing the wood source: vine. My family is obviously inclined towards black wands naturally. I suppose a joke about the Black family bloodline can be made as a lame justification but I am sickened by the thought. Meanwhile, with her other hand, Hermione turns my arm over and runs her thumb over the black ink defiling my left forearm. "Tattoos aren't too unlike scars. Permanent reminders."

She's wearing short sleeves too and I see clearly that 'mudblood' is still etched into the skin of her arm. It was put there my late-aunt Bellatrix Lestrange. I want to ask if it ever feels burdensome, proof of darker times that she'd rather forget. Does she wish for it be gone or anticipate a day when she'll wake up and it'll have faded enough to be illegible?

 _Finite_. She casts the spell loosely, waving her wand well above my forearm and instead focusing her eyes on the skull and snake printed upon me. I feel the ink shiver over my veins. When I glance down, however, it is still there.

 _Tersus Atramento_ proves to be somewhat more promising. It feels almost as if the ink dies, if that would make any sense. I do my best to explain it to her. "I don't think it will move when you use magic on it." She makes notes, and I want to be surprised by I'm not. My father always did wish I could be more like her, even if he didn't say it precisely in that way.

 _Coperio_ offers nothing helpful in the slightest. Hermione does try, _Evanesco_ , but it is no more fruitful for her than it was when I tried. So now bottles are flying out of her bag and onto the table in a neat line. "I won't take any pleasure in the pain these will likely cause you, Malfoy. It's important to me that you understand that."

"But I deserve it," I mutter, though not louder than the clanking of the bottles she's opening. Honestly, I'm glad she doesn't hear it. Merlin knows I'm not worthy of her help, let alone her comforting. My eyes are closing, a pathetic attempt at finding inner peace with my choices, when I a searing pain blankest my whole arm.

Hermione attempts to burn the dark mark from my arm in various ways, each method being uniquely painful in comparison to the others. I grind my teeth through each trial and error only to find that I'm no closer to being free from this reminder of my mistakes. Hermione summons a pocket watch from her bag and alerts me that we should take a break for lunch. Sandwiches and fresh fruits float through the air and settle into two distinct piles. "Thank you," I say cordially, keeping my chin tucked into my chest throughout the meal.

Hermione begins working through the dictionary and referencing back to other pieces of text she's lugged along to double check meanings and usage for each word. She wants to be absolutely sure she's not going to murder me, though nobody could blame her if she did. Appearing as anxious as myself, I let her know she'll be paid no matter the outcome of her efforts. "I trust my mother would honor the agreement."

"I never agreed to be paid, Malfoy,' she comments, writing on a fresh piece of parchment. As I open my mouth to insist that she accept my original offer, she speaks over me, and loudly. "I have two that I want to try."

She slides the parchment over the rickety table and I look over her neat handwriting. _Delens Malum._ My mother made me study Latin for a period of time and I recognize these words immediately. I can see why she would want to try this combination as a spell. I do not object.

However…

"Fugare?"

Hermione justifies herself easily, saying that perhaps the issue isn't that the tattoo itself can't be removed but that the tattoo is attached to the magic which needs removed. The theory itself isn't unsound, exactly, but it does seem like a rather far stretch. "So I'll expel the evil…"

I don't think that the anticipation could be stronger than it is in those moments as she pokes her wand tip against the vein just below the dark mark, dramatically sucking in a sharp breath. First she recites the custom incantation, _delens malum,_ and then checks to see if there is any change. There's a ripple in my skin and turns hot, then it turns red. I want to gasp in shock but I am silenced by it instead. Hermione nods.

"I feel good about this one. Are you ready?" Her smile confuses me. It is not the smile that I got from her, the one that she shot at me to mock my teasing of her friends. The way her lips curl are comforting. It reminds me of those stolen glances I would manage as I became more aware of the role I'd eventually be forced to play for my family. Ron Weasley got these smiles when he worried about his Quidditch games. Harry Potter got these smiles when he fretted over his Triwizard tasks. Luna Lovegood got these smiles she was insulted by yet another of her peers.

I, Draco Malfoy, have never been the recipient of this level of friendship.

"Yes," I breathe. I truly am ready. I've been waiting for this moment, but I now realize that I have always wished for it too. The moment I felt the sting of the ink invading my body, tattooing my allegiance to a man I didn't believe in into existence, I begged for it to be gone. Nothing has meant more to me than being rid of it. The pounding in my ears is so loud that I barely hear Hermione's confident howl, pushing every ounce of power she can spare, into the casting of this spell.

 _Fugare._

And when I look down…

"It's still there." I begin to cry. My body shakes as Hermione Granger wraps her arms around me, insisting that the scars that mark us do not define us. I want to refuse her logic but she is right. Isn't she always?

"Besides," she begins, "It's just a silly tattoo anyway."

And it is.

* * *

 **Spellbook:**

 _As we often find ourselves stuck in matters of incantations for the spells mentioned but never full fleshed out in the Harry Potter books, I've had to create incantations for spells that exist or might have been alluded to in the HP Series. I've already manufactured a few. This will help you better understand in and out of context what I intended these incantations to mean._

Finite (finish, stop);

Evanesco (vanishing spell),

Tersus Atramento (ink correction, theoretical smudge removal);

Coperio (conceal, bury deep);

Delens Malum (erase evil);

Fugare (expel evil)


End file.
